Guardian Girl

Kristen Stewart

Posted in The Measure by guardiangirl on July 9, 2009

This week’s Measure votes Yes to the 70s mullet, so it was time for me to wave goodbye to half my locks in a tribute to Joan Jett (at least I know how to spell her name). It didn’t really work, to be honest, which I put down to the fact that I spent most of my evening making clotted cream shortcake. It turns out an ex-boyfriend had made off with my hairdressing scissors (no he isn’t – we split up for other reasons) so I used some Ikea kitchen scissors instead. They are the type of scissors you once used to cut open some kind of gunky thing and then put back in the drawer without the foresight of wiping them, meaning they stick together each time you snip and you have to use all your thumb strength to open them again. This greatly detracts from the precision with which you can cut your hair into a mullet. I also did the cutting in a half-dark room in the small hours of the morning with a carrier bag on my knee to catch the trimmings. I started with the fringe, which was easy enough as I’ve had a fringe for half my life and almost always do it myself. The sticky scissors were annoying but as I can’t pride myself on my patience, precision or foresight, I pride myself on my tenacity instead. Then I started hacking lengths of hair off the sides, and this is when I started to get scared. In fact, I had to stop. I’m not walking around with an actual mullet whether the Measure tells me to or not – especially since they’ll only stick it on the ‘going down’ list next week anyway. So I have a sort of socially acceptable mullet now, by which I mean I have a fringe.



  • Sharp scissors make all the difference
  • Don’t bring on the mullet
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  1. Sunday 26 July « Guardian Girl said, on July 28, 2009 at 12:33 pm

    […] those women who has an obvious basin mark around the level at which the new hair has been attached. A proper mullet, in other words, which I’ve already rejected this month.  I wanted to get a teeth-whitening kit but my friend Adam told me his friend told him the best […]

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