Kristen Stewart
This week’s Measure votes Yes to the 70s mullet, so it was time for me to wave goodbye to half my locks in a tribute to Joan Jett (at least I know how to spell her name). It didn’t really work, to be honest, which I put down to the fact that I spent most of my evening making clotted cream shortcake. It turns out an ex-boyfriend had made off with my hairdressing scissors (no he isn’t – we split up for other reasons) so I used some Ikea kitchen scissors instead. They are the type of scissors you once used to cut open some kind of gunky thing and then put back in the drawer without the foresight of wiping them, meaning they stick together each time you snip and you have to use all your thumb strength to open them again. This greatly detracts from the precision with which you can cut your hair into a mullet. I also did the cutting in a half-dark room in the small hours of the morning with a carrier bag on my knee to catch the trimmings. I started with the fringe, which was easy enough as I’ve had a fringe for half my life and almost always do it myself. The sticky scissors were annoying but as I can’t pride myself on my patience, precision or foresight, I pride myself on my tenacity instead. Then I started hacking lengths of hair off the sides, and this is when I started to get scared. In fact, I had to stop. I’m not walking around with an actual mullet whether the Measure tells me to or not – especially since they’ll only stick it on the ‘going down’ list next week anyway. So I have a sort of socially acceptable mullet now, by which I mean I have a fringe.
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- Mullet over
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- Mullet under
Conclusions:
- Sharp scissors make all the difference
- Don’t bring on the mullet
I've always found it funny when people write letters to the Guardian's Weekend magazine complaining that the recipe ingredients are too middle class and the fashion only looks good on thin people. After all, it's just a magazine. Or is it? I decided to follow its recipes, fashion and lifestyle advice as closely as possible, to see if the aspirations promoted therein can really be achieved by the average reader who is not especially wealthy, not necessarily model thin and is obliged to work regular office hours. This blog has no affiliation whatsoever with the Guardian but I link to the Weekend magazine website for the purposes of illustration. 
Guardian Girl 
[…] those women who has an obvious basin mark around the level at which the new hair has been attached. A proper mullet, in other words, which I’ve already rejected this month. I wanted to get a teeth-whitening kit but my friend Adam told me his friend told him the best […]