Guardian Girl

After polishing off several good-morning! glasses of Baileys, a latte and a fry-up with my dearest friend Liv and scouring the paper for this week’s life, I headed home to recreate as best I could the Space rooms in my own flat. I did a relatively good job of getting the vibe right (read with emphasis on the word “relatively” and set your standards low) but I have insufficient space in my flat to get enough distance between lens and scene to take a picture that might demonstrate this success. Trust.

The only element I properly slacked off was arranging my books in colour order, which I think looks beautiful and I definitely want to do – I just couldn’t quite bring myself to take all my books off the shelves and put them back in a different order. I might do it later in the week. I will. I will.

Here are some rather sparse-looking photos to demonstrate my attempts:

Study

Skive

Living

Dead

Horrid wardrobe, that.

Breakfast

Feckless

Boudoir

Abattoir

The other thing I did was dress up in a hideous outfit and strike an equally frightening pose, photographing the tragedy with the aid of my camera’s self-timer.

Feel free to listen to the appropriate soundtrack as you view the image (http://open.spotify.com/track/5CoHWtIo2xRgBqVtm4OgcF):

Dare

Don't you dare

Got the pose backwards as usual but I don’t think this is the main concern really, is it.

I was supposed to cook potted crab/lobster for dinner but I couldn’t get these things fresh and I’m not keen on the tinned versions. As I result I settled for toasted bagels with butter.

Then, in an overwhelming show of dullard decision making, I opted to stay in on a Saturday night instead of going out with my chums. It’s my 30th birthday next weekend so I anticipate big luvz then and decided I was allowed to forgo sociability in order to epilate my armpits (genuinely painful) and watch the last episode of Dallas in my boxset (genuinely upsetting to say goodbye to this era of my life).

Conclusions:

• I think I’ve said all I need to about potting food.
• My suspicions about this week’s nude fashion were correct.