Guardian Girl

I looked like such a fool in this outfit, and that is putting it very politely.

Walking to the usual cafe for Sunday’s fry-up with backcombed hair piled on top of my head, magenta lipgloss striping across my eyelids and silk hareem pants billowing at my knees, I felt the eyes of the world boring into me scathingly. When you next wake up with a paranoid hangover and just want to pull on your favourite jeans and a soft, comforting t-shirt, try fashioning yourself as a dramatic beast of Dalstonicity instead and walk around town attempting to look inconspicuous. On a ten minute walk I had to phone four friends for moral support and none of them answered, probably having tired long ago of comforting me on my daily jaunts in ridiculous outfits. I don’t mind looking silly or eccentric; what I object to is looking like I think I’m cool. There’s something mortifying about that. If I could only wear a sandwich board with a disclaimer on it. The All Ages story looks pretty staid this week but this big hair/pink eyeshadow combo is really tricky to tone down.

Anyway, as usual, the photo doesn’t nearly do justice to how stupid I looked. Thanks to Elin for the action photography, although we had to reject the jumping shots as they were disfiguringly blurred.

Dinner wasn’t herring because it was Liv’s actual birthday and you don’t refuse to attend your best pal’s family meal on the basis that you have to stay in and cook fish for your vanity project.

(Happy 30th Liv. You are the most brilliant person, without whom the world would be very, very much less enjoyable. )

Strike a pose

Dyke with woes

A quick update on the Measure front: I’ve seen this Kate Halfpenny stuff before and it’s very lovely indeed but when jewellery shopping involves commissioning, one-offs and/or prices on application, those of us who aren’t yet CEOs know it’s time to wait until dragonfly trinkets hit Claire’s Accessories. By which time we don’t want one. I’m not dead keen on dragonflies anyway – they’re a bit naff aren’t they. They’re for girls who have those mini-hairbrushes in their handbags. The Reiss skirt looks pretty nice but, again, budgetary considerations can’t be pushed too far aside in late-January and I spy posh rucksacks slightly further down the Measure list this week. I could really do with a rucksack to help avoid dropped shoulders on all my long walks, so I might put a bit of cash into that.

Conclusions:

• iPhones can do all sorts of amazing things but they can’t really take decent snaps of magazine pages.
• Sorry if the caption is in any way offensive today.
• What is good is how differently various styles make you behave. I found this get-up put some new dance moves into my repertoire, a loping swagger into my walk and, curiously, a series of chimp noises into my lungs.
• Liv’s family has some pretty eccentric dressers in it, which meant nobody batted an eyelid when I walked into the room looking like a Janet Jackson backing dancer on steroids. Relaxing.
• Great timing on the herring/birthday curry front. Only one more day of oily fish to get through.