Guardian Girl

Sadly my headwear collection doesn’t include a top hat, but I did happen to have a bowler hat casually lying around the flat. I put it on with some leggings, heels and a shirt and decided that was about as close as I could get to the first Stevie Nicks-inspired outfit this week. I took my picture, put my camera away and happily turned to the next task for the day – popping to Sainsbury’s for that night’s recipe ingredients. My heart fell. Did this mean I had to go to Sainsbury’s in a bowler hat? Bugger off – no, of course it didn’t. I’m not going to Sainsbury’s for blueberries wearing a bowler hat any more than I’m cutting my hair into a full mullet. It wouldn’t be so bad if they hadn’t recently invaded Topshop. At least then I’d just look mad rather than tragically try-hard. It’s OK to try hard and succeed. It’s not OK to try hard and fail abysmally, and in public, unless what you’re trying hard at is worthwhile. I took the hat off, then took my heels off for good measure and put some trainers on. The job was a good’un. Thankfully I was only popping to the shop. Imagine if I’d been at a festival, which is the Guardian‘s suggested outing for this look. I’d be knee-deep in mud in the middle of a rain-lashed field, straining to drag my high-heeled hooves over to the main stage while keeping a top hat on my head and my bottom flatteringly tucked under in my skin-tight ski-pant and silk shirt combo. Meanwhile my wellied mates would be happily drinking scrumpy and watching Magazine, just like life’s supposed to be all about. I’m off to Latitude this weekend and I’m not packing heels. Or my bowler hat. My friends will be so pleased.

Rumours

• If you wear a top hat – or a bowler hat – to the supermarket, it’s officially time to get over yourself
• If you wear heels at a festival involving fields and tents, it’s officially time to get over yourself