Guardian Girl

The model looks lovely today. I look worryingly Prisoner Cell Block H:

Let's go to work

Let's go to Wormwood

I’m going out for dinner tonight for friend Phoebe’s birthday and I’m not delighted about the choice of outfit. This is a decided pitfall of copying fashion out of magazines, in case you were thinking of doing it. It quite quickly becomes normal to dress against one’s mood, and that can be a good thing as a pair of heels and a pencil skirt can lift you out of a meek day into Power Mode when otherwise you might have opted for t-shirt,  trainers and 48 hours of a glum face. But dressing against the occasion is more difficult. Several times I’ve taken off the outfit I was obliged to feel monstrous in all day before going out on a Friday evening but, since tonight is a relaxed Vietnamese with some pals, it seemed a bit vain to bring a change of clothes. Let’s just hope they all like the combination of ripped jeans and all-black Converse with meaty thighs and hairy knees, or more likely that all the attention falls on the star of the show. Happy birthday Phoebe!

Conclusions:

• If I start courting, I’m really going to have to find my balls.
• Christ. What I mean is that I wouldn’t feel very comfy turning up for a dinner date looking like this. You’d have thought having a sly blog to confess to might make the whole thing seem kind of fun and less embarrassing, but it doesn’t always work that way. You still have to stand there while perfect strangers look you up and down, allow their eyes to linger on some inadvisable part of your outfit and turn to their table partner with a “she shouldn’t be wearing that” eyebrow raised. But I will be courageous, and I will report back.