Guardian Girl

Coming up shorts on dignity

Posted in Fashion, Uncategorized by guardiangirl on August 3, 2011
Give your wardrobe an edge

Give your wardrobe an edge

Give your wardrobe a dredge

Give your wardrobe a dredge

This week I thought I’d try a new angle and channel the time and money I normally spend on following The Measure properly (hang on, do I normally spend time and money following The Measure properly?) into buying some of the clothes that are actually in the fashion shoots. This makes the comparison more direct. Also crueller for me but, as many of us may have twigged, avoiding humiliation isn’t on this lifetime’s to-do list.

These H&M shorts were only £14.99 and I managed to grab the last pair, which weren’t in my size. Using the considered judgement life skill, I bought them anyway – and they fit! So here we all are, peering at the photo and wondering if that actually counts as fitting.

They wouldn’t have been designed by, say, the Buttock Celebrating Society of Great Britain, but for H&M they’re not bad. As you can see, they look slightly different on me from how they appear on the model. Her legs are, after all, about the same length as my Prider when I saw the results of my ‘photoshopping’ (not TM) on this photo last night. ALMOST INFINITE. If you don’t have a Prider, you should either grow one yourself or quit raising your eyebrows at mine.

Don’t know what that’s about but I’ll leave it in.

All the new-found hours and cash that have been freed up by not having to buy men’s fair isle jumpers this week have also allowed me to do a bit of beauty experimentation, inspired by Sali Hughes’s column, which I’ve hitherto ignored on the blog but always very much enjoyed reading. She’s good, isn’t she? I think she must have finer body hair than mine, though, FYI. I got a tube of that Veet and it has left me feeling not like a silk scarf. I’ve sometimes tried to shave a Burberry check or some lightning bolts into my leg hair, but after trying several times I had to concede it doesn’t work how it does in my head. Thick stripes is about the best you can get, and it doesn’t really click with a pair of Robert Crumb legs, one of which is 1cm longer than the other (measured it with my Shamer).

Conclusions:

  • More of a confession actually: I didn’t wear the shorts to work. Maybe with opaque tights in winter. I’m not hating on my thighs or anything, it’s just they’re a bit extra-curricular, you know?
  • Did you get that Shamer thing? It made the Prider thing make sense in a way. LOLZ!
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6 Responses

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  1. fashiondiy101 said, on August 3, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    i think it looks good on you! ❤

    –jena http://fashiondiy101.wordpress.com/

    • Ben Mitchell said, on August 3, 2011 at 9:06 pm

      Do you know what though, your wardrobe is amazingly capable/versatile/extensive.

  2. michelle said, on August 3, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    again, never ceases to crack me up!! jody! im sitting in my car killing time as i arrived sonewhere too early and now im the idiot in a parking garage laughing hysterically by myself.

    • guardiangirl said, on August 3, 2011 at 10:13 pm

      Awwww, love thinking of you stateside but still checking in. Hope all is wonderful x x

  3. Ben Mitchell said, on August 3, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    Also, didn’t get the Shamer thing, but you can tell me later, Laughed very loud at the ‘not like a silk scarf’ can’t wait to see you next week xx

    • guardiangirl said, on August 3, 2011 at 10:18 pm

      I will try to think of some things to make it sound like that ‘joke’ had any ‘punchline’ or ‘reasoning’ ‘behind’ it at all before I see ‘you’. can you send me a message to arrange times? x x


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