Guardian Girl

It's high summer

It's a Big Issue seller

This guy is even more painful to compare thineself to than the female models.

I internet-shopped the M&S swimming cossie out of the Measure today, having decided it would actually be quite worth owning, although perhaps not exactly the nicest thing ever. I’m usually more of a bikini kind of lass but if the Guardian’s going to keep doing swimwear shoots, I may as well stock up. I am also a member of a gym with a swimming pool, although I’ve never been in it, probably because I’ve never been to the gym. Does anyone want my membership by the way?

Everything I was supposed to do lately apart from sitting on a street and buying a cossie, I haven’t done. I have successfully completed zero recipes this week, although I’m planning to try VV Brown’s Marmite scones as part of a spread tonight. Slacked off Tinie Tempah’s seafood linguine (?!), which I was supposed to cook for my lovely ex-housemate last night because I got put off by the torrential rain and ended up curled in a beanbag reading Getting to Yes courtesy of Oliver Burkeman’s recommendation. I’m hoping it might actually transform my life – or at least help me get into fewer pub brawls of a weekend.

Cola cake purveyors haven’t got back to me about how many millions of pounds I might have to spend on getting a delivery, thereby saving a trip to Soho to purchase a single cupcake.

Other things I’ve allowed myself to ignore: J Brand jodhpurs (expensive), Voyage Voyage (refuse to take music recommendations from the Measure, regardless of quality. Some things you do not let the Guardian dictate, and music taste is one of them.)

Conclusions:

• What rascal has run off with my Fine Young Cannibals CD?
• Sorry Nin. Self-help books and rain should not be impediments to human interaction. I miss dining wit’ ya.