Guardian Girl

What a week it’s going to be in Guardian world. I must say my heart sank a little when I saw the fashion shoots this issue. I could list the reasons but if you take a look for yourself, that shouldn’t be necessary.

Poolside thoughts

Suicidal thoughts

“Who’s that in your garden?”

“Oh, don’t worry, that’s just my Aunt Jody. She dances around out there sometimes – thinks she’s at a Fleetwood Mac concert. As long as you keep her away from the rat poison, it’s OK. Mum and Dad say it’s best if we just let her do it.”

Dinner was a more dignified affair. Earlier on I swallowed my pride and went to my first London farmers’ market to buy sage plants. Sometimes you look at yourself from the outside and you just think “what a c*nt”. Sorry. Walking around the farmers’ market with a bag of sage plants, a copy of the Guardian under my arm and a self-satisfied spring in my step, I had one of those moments. It felt pretty good in a way though, like “yehhhhh I’m one of those c*nts, yehhhhhhhhhh.” Total immersion into Guardiandom, right down to putting the thought-apostrophe in the correct place while contemplating the farmers’ market.

Anyway, if I was trying to avoid becoming a Guardian-reading cliche, this blog would be the wrong path to follow.

Green beans with sage and pancetta

Frozen beans with sage and bacon

Having nearly being consumed with excessive wellbeing earlier, I nevertheless managed to find room for a bit of the Kerry Katona in tonight’s dinner. Phew. Gotta keep it real.

Conclusions:

• It’s going to be a week of tragically unattractive photography
• Pancetta and a farmers’ market would’ve been too much for one day